How to Seduce a Harem of Monsters
by Dr. Feelgood122191
Summary: Self-Insert. A young mage is forced to go to Yokai Academy. Along the way, he makes friends, finds love, and even gets in a couple of adventures! This is his story. Discontinued due to lack of interest and plot.
1. Yokai Academy

A/N: Hi! Here is the new and improved How to Seduce a Harem of Monsters! Some parts are now rewritten, revised, etc. The story is going to be mostly the same, but Tsukune will be appearing in the story, and Moka, Kurumu and Yukari will be fighting over him. Yes, it's still a self-insert, and I've made some changes. First of all, Zach is now a mage-a boundary monster, like the witches are. And everyone (except for Gin) are older than they originally are, with the average age being about 16-17. One more thing, Ruby shows up right at the beginning, and Kokoa also joins her dear older sister a year earlier. There are also two Moka'; the Inner and Outer Mokas are separate. Moka's parents are both alive and will be showing up in later chapters, as will her elder sisters. The parents of everyone else will also make an appearance, even if it is only brief. So, without any further ado, here's the story!

Disclaimer: Rosario + Vampire does not belong to me.

Chapter One: Yokai Academy

You know, monsters really aren't as bad as humans make them out to be. Or at least, that's how I see it. Then again, I'm a monster, so I guess that kinda makes me biased. Anyway, my name is Zach. As I mentioned before, I am a monster. A mage, actually. I've lived a good life in the human world so far, for about 18 years. I managed to graduate human high school without much of a problem, so I thought that my life was set. I mean, I could already blend in with humans easily as it is. Apparently, my parents had other ideas. For one thing, they were sending to a school for monsters. Come on, you have to agree with me that the last sentence is just ridiculous. I mean, how can you teach a monster…to be a monster? Aren't they like that naturally? That's what I thought. However, it turned out that the school was for "blending in with humans". Yeah, and I've lived my whole 18 years in the human world and never had a problem. So why should I go? …Come to think of it, my parents never DID give me a answer to that question…or at least a good enough one.

In any case, I ended up getting on this bus to head to that school. The bus driver was creepy enough as it was (I mean, his eyes were _glowing. _And he was in his human form, too.), and there was no one else on the bus, either. So, I guessed that meant that I was late or something. But after a hour or so, we entered this tunnel, and suddenly lights surrounded the bus. I was momentarily startled, but I quickly regained my cool. About that time, we had reached the end of the tunnel. Alright, I'll be honest with you; I was creeped out by the school, just because it looked like one of those haunted mansions you see in a horror movie, complete with a graveyard outside filled to the brim with tombstones and skulls. And the water was a reddish color. Yeah, that's not healthy. But I got off the bus, and after the bus driver gave me a cryptic warning about how dangerous the school was, he departed (to go do more creepy-bus-driver-type-things, I suppose) and I started the trek towards the school.

Overall, the walk to the school wasn't so bad. I mean, there weren't any crazy hot vampire chicks almost running me over with her bicycle or anything. No succubus trying to seduce me with her rather large assets. No prankster witch trying to get me and the aforementioned hot vampire chick in the bed together. No masochist witch trying to get me to do BDSM-type stuff with her. No crazy sister of the aforementioned hot vampire chick trying to kill me in order to bring her older sister back with her. No stalker snow girl…stalking me. Ok, I wasn't so sure about that last one. I did have a feeling I was being watched, but I just shrugged it off. Or at least I did until I happened to look up and see a…young woman. Clearly stalking me. Staring straight at me. And…oh my god she is pretty damn hot…ahem. Hormones aside, I was kinda creeped out. In a good way. I guess. Don't judge me.

So, I decided to be nice. I went up to her and said "Hello". Nice, short and sweet and simple. She just stared back at me with a very strange look on her face. She was smiling and blushing. It was rather cute, not that I was going to mention that to her. Didn't want to give off the wrong impression, right? After a rather awkward silence, I decided to try again.

"My name is Zach. I'm going to be a student at Yokai Academy. And you are…?"

"…Stare…"

"…" I inwardly frowned at the lack of response, but waited patiently.

"…Mizore…Shirayuki…" Whew, she actually answered…

"It's very nice to meet you, Mizore." I said, smiling.

"…The pleasure's…mine…" she responded, still staring and smiling at me. It was almost adorable. Almost.

"Soooo…I take it you're going to the Academy as well?" Another brave attempt at conversation. Huzzah.

"…Yes, I am." She replied dreamily.

"What kind of monster are you? I'm a mage," I said, glad to keep the conversation flowing.

"I'm a snow girl…" Oh. That explained a lot. No wonder she was staring at me like that. Well, I guess I can't blame her. You see, the snow people are in danger of dying out, and their birth rate is terribly low. So all females must be married by 17 and must have children as soon as possible (and as many as possible). One of my dad's friends is married to a snow girl, so that's how I know all of this. (On a side note, mages live typically a bit longer than humans, around 150-200 years, and have a decent birth rate. So hah. I win.)

"Mm, I see." Just then, I looked at my watch. "Ah, blast it all. We're gonna be late for the opening ceremony. Come on!" And with that, I grabbed her hand and started dragging her toward the school. If I had bothered to look back, I would've noticed how red her face was, and that her smile had gotten even dreamier, if that was possible.

~Insert Line Break Here~

We made it just in time to the school, after having to deal with a crazy hot vampire chick damn near running us over (I swear, the nerve of hot vampire chicks these days…). We also happened upon a young man who called himself Tsukune. He had also happened to be in the path of that crazy vampire; he had been less lucky than us, however, and had been hit. Poor guy. It took me awhile, but I noticed that I was still holding Mizore's hand. I let go quickly, mumbling a quick apology. She didn't seem to mind, however, and we didn't pursue the subject any further.

At the opening ceremony, we were at the back of the crowd. Tsukune quickly met up with that vampire from earlier, and after listening to the opening speech, we made our way to our destined classroom.

And that's what began the wheels of fate...


	2. The Harem BeginsI Guess

A/N: Here's chapter two! FYI, Moka's 'Inner' personality will be called Uru in this story. I believe Uru means Inner, so yeah...Correct me if I'm wrong.

Chapter Two: The Harem Begins…I Guess.

Much to my surprise, Mizore, Tsukune and that vampire, who was named Moka, were all in the same class. We sat down close to each other, occupying the back four desks near the window. Once everyone settled down, the teach came in. She talked to us about the rules, one of which was to not reveal what race we were to the other students (whoops. Looks like I broke that rule already). We also had to introduce ourselves.

Most students weren't worth mentioning. However, I did take notice of a few students who seemed...somewhat special. Call it intuition. One was a woman who looked rather similar to Moka, who called herself Uru. I overheard Moka whispering to Tsukune that Uru and another girl in our class were her sisters, ergo, two more vampires. Lovely.

The Moka's other sister soon revealed herself as Kokoa, which I found rather amusing. Y'know. Moka. Mocha. Kokoa. Cocoa. ...Am I the only one who finds that funny?

Ahem. Next was a woman who introduced herself as Yukari. I noted that she had a wand on her belt; obviously, she must be a witch or a mage. The girl next to her, introduced as Ruby, also had a wand. Yay, two who were the same as me!

Finally, this blue-haired, big breasted woman called Kurumu stood up, winking in a somewhat seductive manner. The girls in the class were not amused. Neither was Tsukune nor myself; I had fallen prey to girls like that one too many times before for such a weak charm ability to work on me.

After that ordeal, we got our first homework assignment (which was easy for someone like me), and I headed to my dorm room with Tsukune. Moka had already taken her leave towards her own dorm. Hmm, I wonder where…

"…Stare…" …Ah. Never mind. Found her.

"Err, hi Mizore." I said, slightly unnerved.

"…Hi." she replied, still staring at me. I'm not sure if I find that adorable or scary…

I decided to settle on scarily cute.

Mizore ended up following me and Tsukune back to our dorm. We were shot a bunch of dirty looks from some of the more rowdy males, but otherwise ignored.

Tsukune ended up having a room next to mine, so I entered mine, Mizore shuffling in after me.

It was rather spacious; thankfully, I had my own bath, so that was all good. Kitchen, a rather comfy-looking bed, and other various things...

Oh yeah. I was going to like it here. I take back all of the nasty things I was thinking about my parents.

I was jolted back to reality by a sniffing noise. Turning around, I almost fell flat on my ass in surprise; Mizore had obviously been smelling my hair.

"Erm...Do I smell that good?" I asked, somewhat sheepish. She merely smiled at me, and then blushed, leaving my room quickly.

Chuckling, I began to unpack; this was going to be an interesting year...


	3. Y'know, Being A Popular Guy

Chapter Three: You Know, Being A Popular Guy Isn't Really A Good Thing…

There are many upsides to having a girl like Mizore around. For one thing, with the amount of stalking she does, she is always alert to everyone else's presence, regardless of how well they try to hide themselves. Also, again due to her stalker tendencies, she can tell what the intentions of what that particular person wants. It's also very convenient to have her around whenever somebody is bugging you-she tends to get a little trigger-happy with her ice powers and freezes people frequently if I'm annoyed. It's also nice to have access to those ice powers whenever I feel like a snow cone or something like that.

That being said, there are also a few downsides to having her around. For one thing, she can (and will) appear from _anywhere_. That can also be considered a good thing, except it means little to no privacy on my part. Even when I know she's not around, I'm still paranoid to go to the bathroom or change, especially after she told me I had a cute bare butt, much to my embarrassment. Also, her trigger-happiness can be rather annoying at times, such as that time I prevented Moka from falling down the stairs, and getting a ice kunai stuck in my head for my troubles. She's also prone to freezing me to 'protect' me from various things.

There's also advantages to having Moka around. For one thing, the Uru is a super powerful vampire, and watches over her pink-haired counterpart like a hawk; therefore, a powerful ally was almost always nearby. But she comes at a heavy price; most guys are heads-over-heels for her, and seeing her with me…well, it didn't exactly make me their favorite guy. Same thing with Tsukune, for that matter. There was a good chemistry going on between those two. Anyway, you remember Kurumu, right? Giant rack, blue hair, flirts with every guy? Yeah, her. Well, she wanted to destroy Moka (figuratively, of course. Then again, she might of meant it literally…). So, she tried to get to Moka…through me and Tsukune.

I had been walking down the hallway after class, thinking of heading home and perhaps taking a catnap (and maybe a visit from Mizore…she tends to randomly come into my room while I'm asleep). But with my luck, that couldn't be the case…

"Yahoo! Hi there!" came a far too energetic voice for my liking.

'_Oh great, what now?_' I thought, before turning around…

…and promptly had my face assaulted by two giant yellow watermelons.

…Oh wait…those were boobs…eh, close enough. They were about the same size, anyway.

"Mmmgh." Came my response. Completely charming, I know. What a lady-killer I am, with that pick-up line and all.

…Note the complete use of sarcasm. Please.

"Aww, aren't you just the CUTEST thing!" The thing currently treating me to marshmallow hell squealed.

'_Cute? Not handsome? …Is that an insult…?_' I wondered briefly before the giant pair of melons were finally withdrawn from my face. Gasping for air, I failed to recognize her before it was too late. The trap was sprung. I had just began to regain my senses when she stuck her face close to mine. Really close. And I made the mistake of looking her dead on in the eyes. My eyes widened in recognition but before I could done anything…

"My name is Kurumu Kurono. Please be my friend." She said sweetly. Too sweetly. I felt a couple of cavities grow on my teeth spontaneously just from the sweetness in her voice.

Now, as it turns out, Kurumu is a succubus. Succubi have an annoying ability called charm, which basically turns its target into a complete slave. Now, let me explain about that before I continue on with my story. See, the charm ability can be used in very many ways, three ways, to be exact. You can use your voice as your charm technique, for example. The more sultry your voice is and the more sound waves the victim picks up from the one charming them, the more effective it is. Touching someone is also another method, although it's not quite as effective as the other two methods. However, the final method is by far the most effective. Using one's eyes to charm their victim is by far the best method to succeed. There isn't any clear reason why, although some speculate that due to the fact that the eyes are closest to the brain, where the order for the charm originates from, the more potent it is, due to the fact that it doesn't have to travel as far throughout the body in order to activate. However, the most deadly combination is, as one might expect, all of the above. Even high-level monsters would have a hard time fighting that off. And the closer they are to you when the charm ability kicks in, the more effective. And I was almost nose-to-nose with Kurumu.

Needless to say, my senses were overloaded. Not only was I gazing into her eyes at a very close proximity, her breasts were still pressed against me in a very intimate manner. Her hands had also made their way to my neck, caressing the aforementioned body part in a very sensual manner. And since I was right next to her when she spoke…well, it's pretty hard to _not _hear people at that distance.

It is the most curious feeling when you become charmed. For one thing, you feel like you are floating away…just to be shut in a dark prison of sorts. An extremely erotic dark prison. In other words, you become extremely aroused. You are also completely open to _any _suggestion from the one who charmed you. You become happy, free of worry and consequence, and giddy in general.

You also end up turning into a complete asshole towards your friends who then are hurt by your actions and promptly abandon you.

Well, the only thing I CAN say in my defense is that she got Tsukune too.

So in short, the two of us were paraded around the school, forced to say hurtful things towards Moka and laugh about it.

Not very main character-like at all.

It was all due to Mizore that Tsukune and I were able to free ourselves from Kurumu's control. She likes to stalk people, so naturally, she witnessed the whole thing. Luckily, so did Uru. And boy, was she mad at Kurumu for making Moka cry.

Long story short, Mizore and Uru pummeled Kurumu for her actions, freed me and Tsukune from her control, and sent her packing.

After Mizore and Uru dealt with Kurumu, we headed back to the boy's dorms. I turned to Mizore. I was eternally thankful to her. I don't know about you, but I sure didn't feel like being a slave to a succubus for all of my life.

"Thanks for saving Mizore. You couldn't have come at a better time."

"…No problem. No way in hell would I let that hussy take you from me."

I smiled. This is what I liked about Mizore. Always blunt, and always there for me.

"Well, anyway, I think I'm going to go to bed, Mizore. See you tomorrow?"

"…Yes."

"Oh, and Mizore…"

"…Yes?"

I stepped up to her and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. To say that she looked shocked was a understatement.

"There. Now, you will always be the holder of my first kiss."

Mizore couldn't even answer. Her eyes wide, she somewhat resembled a goldfish out of water. It was adorable. Trying to hold in my mirth, I quickly claimed her lips again.

"You know, you're going to get a bug in your mouth if you keep it open like that." I said, smirking as she jumped and quickly closed her mouth. It was priceless.

I turned back to the dorms, and started to head back. I guess I should've realized that after kissing her twice, Mizore wasn't just going to let me walk away. I didn't even get halfway there before she had tackled me to the ground. Looking up at her, I saw this look in her eyes. I couldn't describe it, but I didn't need to. Her actions told me all.

When I finally made it back to my dorm, I had several lipstick marks and hickeys on my body. I probably had a goofy smile on my face too.

I had many good dreams that night_._


	4. Making More Friends, and

A/N: Well, I'm finally going to update this story…I have an omake ready to go, but I'm gonna wait a few chapters for that. That, and I want to see how well they go over; I might just scrap the idea of the omake.

I may only have this story go as far as the first Rosario + Vampire storyline; I might go into the plot of the second season. Like I said, I don't know.

Anyway, here we go!

Chapter Four: Making More Friends, and Club Activities

Tsukune and I spent most of the next day apologizing profusely to Moka about our actions the day before due to Kurumu's charm. Fortunately for me, she was a very forgiving person, although her two sisters still gave us glares-of-death-at-a-future-date-of-their-choosing. I was fully on my guard today, especially when I knew Kurumu was nearby; I did NOT want to have a repeat of yesterday.

As it turned out, Kurumu just wanted to apologize, or so she claimed. She ended up joining our motley crew that consisted of me, Tsukune, Mizore, Moka, Uru, and Kokoa as we searched for a club to join.

Yesterday, Nekonome-sensei had mentioned that we needed to join a club of some sorts. I wasn't really interested, but by the way she said it, it was mandatory here, much to my chagrin.

So, there we were, going from club to club. Most clubs didn't interest me at all; the swimming club was a no-go for the vampires due to their weakness of water, and I myself wasn't too good at swimming.

The day was quickly coming to an end when we stumbled upon the newspaper club. It was quickly apparent that our two classmates, Yukari and Ruby had already joined up, for they were talking with who was obviously the leader of said club.

"Hi there! Welcome to the newspaper club. My name is Gin. These two young ladies here are Yukari and Ruby."

I instantly made myself leader of our group and spoke before anyone else could. "Yo! I'm Zach. This is Moka, Mizore, Kurumu, Uru, Tsukune and Kokoa. We're looking for a club and so far we haven't found anything worthwhile." There quite a few murmurs behind me that sounded suspiciously like "Just because YOU didn't like the clubs doesn't mean they're not worthwhile…".

It's not my fault that they had poor tastes in club activities. And it also isn't my fault that they seem to be so unwilling to break up our little 'group'. Women these days…

"Well, I hope that this club will be worthwhile enough for all of you." Gin said, smiling.

"What does the newspaper club do, exactly? I'm just going to assume that we will be writing articles and such, correct?" I asked.

"Well, yes, in a nutshell. We publish stories that will interest the public, have polls and such, that sort of thing. You'll probably need to go do interviews, might even need to do some sleuthing work, spying-" I looked pointedly at Mizore here, to which she blushed and looked away, "-and all sorts of other stuff. Care to try?"

I looked around at everyone; Tsukune shrugged, Moka and Kurumu seemed excited, while Mizore still wasn't looking at me due to my unspoken comment, and Uru and Kokoa were…staring at Moka. Well, whatever. I made my decision known.

"All right. This actually might even be fun. Count me in." I think that surprised everyone, but they made their own comments/noises of agreement or anything that indicated their consent.

Gin smiled. "All right. Now that you've all decided, let's go over the rules and all that fun stuff…"

Gin turned out to be quite the swell guy. Other than needing to deal with a few ladies' man jokes, we really hit it off. We had the typical guy talk; the hot girls, school life, the hot girls, food, did I mention the hot girls? Oh yes, and the most important question of the year: is it possible to pleasure a woman with a stapler, two rolls of scotch tape, and a pencil sharpener? Gin seemed to think so. Me, not so much. Scotch tape, maybe. But a stapler…that's pushing it. And I have no clue what you could use the pencil sharpener for…other to…sharpen your pencil cough cough, hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge, etc. But I'm pretty sure that would hurt. A lot. Tsukune just face palmed.

But after we managed restore metaphysics to the world, we got back to the task at hand. Not to mention that the question of the year seemed to have attracted the attention of the women, which would only end in pain on our part. Then again, Mizore DID say she was looking for kinky new ways to have fun…and I'm positive Kurumu wouldn't object…much.

In case if you were wondering, all of that last bit was a lie; that never really happened. But it made the story more interesting, didn't it?

Ahem.

I quickly made friends with the two witches; as a borderline monster myself, I could connect with them easier.

It was also made quite apparent that Yukari was head over heels for both Moka and Tsukune, much to mine and Gin's amusement. In the resulting catfight between Yukari and Kurumu, Mizore won (freezing people tends to win you battles), and after thawing the two, we went back to our dorms.

I bid Tsukune goodbye as he entered his room, and went into my own. I locked my door, let out a breath, before going to my window and opening it. Sure enough, within seconds Mizore made her way in. This was beginning to become a habit for us, and as far as habits went, this was a good one. A very good one.

I grinned at her as I laid down on my bed, patting the spot next to me; she quickly filled that spot with her body.

What? We just cuddle for hours on end with some making out and teasing and such. What were you thinking? Full blown sex? Nu-uh. Despite that we both WANTED to do that, I knew that I, at least, wasn't completely ready to take that final step. Not until I was sure about Mizore.

…That was my rationalization, anyway. The truth? I wanted to take her every second of the day. Didn't matter when or where. But I held myself back. I had already hurt many girl's hearts in my 18 years of living, and that was just breaking up with them after dating. To have sex with a girl, realize that I don't want her anymore, and throw her away? I'd never be able to live with myself.

It didn't make matters any easier that I was now also strongly attracted to Ruby, the elder of the two witches who had joined our group. Yes yes, I know I already have Mizore and everything, but I just can't help myself, okay? I'm a man, by all things that are unholy! …Or holy, depending on your religious views. It's perfectly natural for a man to have these thoughts, isn't it? It's not like I want to! It just…happens!

Agh. This is making my head ache…

Mizore noticed my discomfort. Smiling, she pulled me into a hug. Ahh, Mizore. What a lovely woman you are. You don't even bother to ask what's wrong, you just comfort me. …As an added bonus, your boobs are pressing quite nicely into my chest.

…Dammit, I just did it again, didn't I?

A/N: Well, that's a wrap for this chapter. Wow, almost two months since I put this thing up…time flies.

Anyway, there is an announcement I need to make. First of all, don't expect this story to be updated as much as any of us would like it to be. By the sounds of things, my life is going to become very hectic from here until probably summer. I might be starting college this fall too, which will make things even more hectic.

But this story is not dead, nor will it ever be! I will finish it, no matter what! Famous last words, you might say, but I will do it! On my honor and pride! Or extreme lack thereof!

Anyway, please review. I really like hearing feedback. Sure, this story might've gotten some bad reviews, but hey, I can take it. Just…no flames, okay? I might be able to take it, but it really damages my moral and motivation, and also makes me doubt my writing skills. And if you do need to criticize, there are more polite ways to do it rather to tell me to stop writing this shitty fanfic. It might be shitty, but it's still my fanfic, and I will keep writing it if I feel like it. And if you don't like self-inserts, then why read one that clearly states that it's a self-insert? Just saying, people. I mean, I didn't exactly hide the fact that this is a self-insert, so…if you somehow missed that, I will tell that I need to be able to bold all of my text in my summary, as well as increase the font size so that you can read it. Will that help? Sheesh.


	5. The Beach, The Nosebleeds, And

A/N: Well, here we are again. Looks like I have some more free time than I thought I would, and I'm going to take this chance to get as many chapters as I can into my current stories.

On another note, be sure to be on the lookout for a new fic that I'm going to start working on when I get the chance; as of now, it's called Tears of the Assassin, and it is a Rosario + Vampire story. It goes into detail about Kalua, Moka and Kokoa's elder sister. The one who first showed up when Mizore almost got raped by that guy from Fairy Tale. The one who cries when she needs to kill. Yeah, that one. Well, the story will be my take on her past, and how she came to be where she's at, and how she even finds love in the end (obviously not going with canon).

The first fight scene is also in this chapter, and I haven't done many of them, so it may suck a bit. Also note that I didn't get the spells from anywhere; I made them up. They aren't in Latin or anything, so yeah. I was tempted to put them in Latin, but that means I would need to find some sort of translator, and I just don't want to deal with that.

Well, as they say in Japan, Iku ze!

Disclaimer: If I owned Rosario + Vampire, Moka and Mizore's positions would be swapped, with Tsukune all over Mizore instead.

Chapter Five: The Beach, the Nosebleeds, and the Attack of the Gym Teacher

"Blargh. I hate traveling," I grunted.

We were currently in the bus, heading towards the beach. Why the beach? Well, last week, Nekonome had mentioned that she had always wanted to go to the beach. That was just the tinder for the flame that was about to come; soon, the entire school was requesting that we go to the beach. In the end, the headmaster gave us the green light, and we had set out.

Currently, I was leaning against Mizore, willing myself to not let my motion sickness get the best of me; we were sitting right behind the bus driver, while Moka and Tsukune sat across from us. Ruby and Yukari took the seats behind me and Mizore, and Kurumu and Gin took the seats behind Moka and Tsukune.

The bus driver moved so that he could see me in the mirror.

"Heh heh heh…you'd best be careful. The beach can be a dangerous place!" he cautioned, although his somewhat evil laugh before hand told me that he wasn't really concerned about my health.

I considered flipping him the bird, but restrained myself. Instead, I began to imagine myself setting him on fire. I must've started drooling, because Mizore wiped my mouth with my handkerchief; realizing that I had a slight problem in the insane department, I quickly turned my mind to other things. Such as finding some sort of medicine that could prevent myself from getting sick.

We finally reached the beach after another tortuous hour. I was the first out of the bus, despite Nekonome's protest (something about explaining the 'rules' to us), and as I hit the sand, I yelled, "FREEEEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOOM!" Or perhaps it was "LAND!" I'm not entirely sure. I think I tried saying both at the same time, which might've made it come out as "FREEEEEEELAAAAAAANDOOOOOOOOOM!"

But I digress. The point was, I was off of that awful bus, and, after regaining my former color (I was told I was green the whole trip there), I was ready to listen to what my teacher had to say.

Now, we were in the human world, see. Which I had no problems with, seeing as how I was raised in the human world. Being a borderline monster helps a lot; it's basically impossible for someone to find out who I am unless if I perform magic in front of them.

But anyway, we were told the normal rules: no revealing your true nature, no maiming/killing/hurting in any way, etc. etc. By then, everyone was practically pushing her out of the bus; she comically hit the floor and was promptly trampled by an onslaught of various hormone-crazed monster teens. I found it funny, anyway.

I met up with Tsukune and Gin in the locker rooms. Changing, we exited, waiting for our little posse to show up.

Soon enough, our little group was complete. The three of us had to hold in our nosebleeds as we got a look at our beautiful companions in their swimsuits.

Jubilees, aka Kurumu, had on a simple yellow bikini. Of course, it looked to be several sizes to small for her, particularly in the chest region. It left very little to the imagination, needless to say. Gin had to run into the water at this point; he apparently couldn't handle this kind of stimulation. Wimp.

Yukari, on the other hand, had the traditional school swimsuit on; a blue one piece. Now, I ain't no lolicon here, but I will admit that she was cute. She even still had her witch's hat on. I hoped that any humans would just pass it off as cosplay.

Kokoa had on a red bikini on. She glared at me and Tsukune, and we instantly averted our eyes. It wasn't worth getting beaten up over.

Uru had a white bikini on. I chanced a glance at her, and quickly looked away. Again, I didn't feel like dying today.

Moka, like her two sisters, went with a simple bikini. Unsurprisingly, it was pink. Grabbing Tsukune, they both ran off towards the water, with Uru, Kokoa, Yukari and Kurumu in tow. I really hoped that Uru and Kokoa got a lot of water on them…I'd laugh as they'd get weaker and weaker by the second…

Ruby was next out. I stared. …Was that even a swimsuit? It was a freaking STRING, basically. It was more revealing than Kurumu's! I almost lost it there. She smiled at me and went off to join our group. Making a mental note to talk to her about her…preferences later, I turned as Mizore walked out.

She had a two-piece on. The top part was a light blue, which I thought went along with her hair quite well. The bottom part was half pink and half yellow; I would've questioned the color choices, but in the end decided it wasn't worth it. She smiled brightly at me, a smile which, as far as I knew, was reserved only for me.

I extended my arm. "Milady," I said, bowing. She giggled at my silliness, and we walked arm and arm towards our group.

In the end, I ended up sitting next to Kokoa, Moka and Uru as everyone else played in the water. They glanced at me.

"Can't swim," was my response to their unspoken question. Uru and Kokoa rolled their eyes and scoffed at my 'weakness', while Moka gave me an apologetic look. I rolled my own eyes, and muttered just loud enough for the former two to hear, "I'd like to see _you_ try to swim…"

Thankfully, I was faster than both of them, and I dashed into the water until I was up to my neck in water; they both stopped in the shallows, glaring at me. I stuck my tongue out at them and started to make my way over to Tsukune.

"I may need the help of you and your girlfriends on the way home," I said. He gave me a questioning look.

"I pissed off Uru and Kokoa." I said, and he sighed, before it seemed to hit him what I had called his friends.

"They are not my girlfriends," he stuttered, blushing. I laughed.

"Sure they aren't," I responded, still chuckling. A beach ball hit my head; glancing over, I noticed that it came from some of the other students, who obviously wanted their ball back. Now, I could've been a total dick and thrown it ever further out, or even popped it, but I gave it back to them out of the kindness in my heart. Or lack thereof. I had to impress the ladies somehow, eh?

It suddenly came to my attention that I had no clue where my posse was at. I looked around.

Kokoa and Uru were still on the beach, both still sending me glares that promised pain at a later date of their choosing, while Moka was now closer to the water, talking with Tsukune. I stared. How did he get over there so fast?

Yukari and Kurumu were fighting yet again, the yells of "You big-breasted cow!" and "Ironing board!" reaching my ears. I chuckled, and looked around for the three remaining members of our group.

Gin was one of the many guys who were gawking at Ruby sunbathing (I was still convinced that her 'swimsuit' was just a very big piece of string). But where was…?

My eyes were covered up. "Guess who?" said a voice. I grinned.

"Well, I hope it isn't Uru or Kokoa, although if it WAS them, I'd be dead by now," I said, turning around. Sure enough, there was Mizore. To my surprise, she wasn't freezing the water. I raised my eyebrow at her.

"I still have my lollipop in," she said, rolling it around in her mouth. Ah, yes. Yuki-onna need to regulate their temperature in warmer climates, and those lollipops apparently do just that. I wondered vaguely if they needed to have the lollipops in their mouths, or if they could put it somewhere else…then I mentally kicked myself. Down boy, no need to give yourself a nosebleed…DOWN JOHNNY!

Once I beat the crap out of my hormones, we made our way back to the shore, where everyone else was setting up lunch. My stomach growled. To my surprise, Mizore's stomach growled in agreement. I looked at her. She blushed. I started laughing.

After we sat down (as far away from Uru and Kokoa as possible, might I add), we dug into the delicious lunch that had been prepared for us. I sniffed it. Everyone gave me weird looks.

"What? Making sure its not poisoned." I defended myself.

"Who would poison your food?" asked Moka.

"I could think of a couple of people," I looked pointedly at the two other vampires. Uru snorted.

"If I wanted to kill you, I wouldn't do it through poisoning. I'd just kick your ass," she said matter-of-factly, Kokoa nodding the whole time.

Holding back any sister complex jokes that I might have had for the red-headed vampire (which surely would've lead to my immediate demise), I instead dug into the food.

It should be noted that it was quite delicious.

It should also be noted that it seemed that Kokoa had slipped laxatives into my portion.

As I ran to the bathroom, I kicked sand at her. Whether I got her or not, I never did find out.

Laxatives are not fun. If any of your friends ever dare you to take one, I would recommend that you put up with being called a chicken for the rest of your life. I was in the bathroom for a full hour. I probably would've been in there longer (just in case, so that I didn't have any embarrassments), but all thought of that died on the spot once I heard screaming. At first, I thought it was just the humans; one of the monsters had accidentally let out their true form, and had promptly sent the poor humans into cardiac arrest. Once I began hearing screaming that sounded suspiciously like Yukari (and a very manly scream that was either Tsukune or Gin), I finished up best I could, and burst onto the scene.

The scene wasn't so pretty. A huge octopus thing was attacking my little group. Poor Yukari and Moka were already caught up in its tentacles (I was trying my best not to imagine just _what_ those tentacles were doing), and I had come out of the bathroom just in time to watch Gin get smashed into one of the small hut things there.

As I ran up to help my friends (everyone else seemed to be quite content to mind their own business), I had to dodge as Kokoa was sent flying right to where I had been standing two seconds ago. Deciding to be nice, I stopped to see if she was ok.

"Why didn't you catch me? Why did you dodge?" She shrieked.

"Because I didn't want us to end up in an awkward situation that's the norm in a typical harem manga?" I said. She just raised an eyebrow, and was about to run back into battle when Uru smack us both in the face with her whole body.

"Urgh…THIS is what I meant," I moaned, Kokoa lifting her sister's face off of her. I decided to not mention that I just got a face-full of Uru's crotch, since that would only bring me pain.

"So…just what the hell is going on, anyway?" I asked. Uru just charged back into battle. Kokoa sighed.

"It's our gym teacher, Kotsubo. It appears that he is a Kraken, and has had a crush on your girlfriend for quite some time. It seems like he couldn't control himself any longer," she said.

Another scream pierced our ears, and Moka and Yukari, now free from their tentacles, were flying straight towards us.

Another uncomfortable moment later, in which I had to catch Moka in a MOST awkward way, I turned to look at the damage. Gin was out cold, Uru was dancing around Kotsubo's tentacles, Tsukune was attempting to revive Gin, and Mizore was trying to freeze Kotsubo, without much success. Ruby and Kurumu were nowhere to be found.

I grimaced as I looked at the three next to me. "Well, I take it hiding our true forms is now thrown out the freaking window?" I asked. All three of them nodded.

I dashed towards the gym teacher, chanting my spell as I did so.

"**Oh Holy Gods of Time and Space, Bring Unto Me Your Power and Vanquish My Foes! Tremble In Fear, Mortals! **_**STARDUST STORM!" **_I unleashed my spell.

Thousands of balls of light viciously ripped into Kotsubo, dealing massive damage. Or at least, it looked like it hurt. The screeching noise that he made certainly indicated as much. Ignore the gasps and the oohs and the awws of my fellow classmates, I began chanting another spell, taking great care to avoid any tentacles that came my way.

"**God of Thunder, Hear My Plea! Bring Your Righteous Lightning Down Upon My Enemies! **_**THOR'S HAMMER!"**_

In comparison to a normal lightning bolt, my spell made those pitiful things look like firecrackers. Firecrackers that were right next to a nuclear explosion. The boom from the thunder probably caused quite a few people to go deaf momentarily, as a huge thunderbolt smashed down onto Kotsubo, frying him (and anything else that was touching the water). I was panting by now; using big spells like that wore me out fast, and those two were indeed my best spells. It appeared that Kotsubo was tougher than I thought; most normal monsters wouldn't be standing after one of those spells, let alone both of them.

A scream was heard; Kotsubo had captured Mizore. It seemed that he also had a hold of Ruby and Kurumu as well, both of whom were charred, no doubt from my last spell. Making a mental note to apologize profusely later, I dashed as fast as I could towards the Kraken. Unfortunately, being as tired as I was from my spell-slinging, I wasn't so lucky when one of Kotsubo's many tentacles swooped down to hit me. Stars erupted in my vision; I flew directly towards the small shack that Gin had successfully demolished just minutes before, and what was left of that building came crumbling down on me, Gin and Tsukune, who apparently hadn't thought to get away from the weakened building. Everything went black for me.

I grunted as I woke up; I ached everywhere. Most of it was probably from collapsing the rest of that shack, although some of it was from my usage of spells. It appeared that there were only a couple of occupants in the room. Gin was lying on the bed to my right, who looked damaged but otherwise fine. Tsukune was on the bed across the room from mine, slightly more beat up than Gin. It appeared that no one else was there. Not Ruby, not Kurumu, not even Kotsubo.

I felt something cold touch the side of my face. I just about put a hole in the ceiling from shock. But I managed to keep my jump to a bare minimum, seeing as how I was the most heavily bandaged. Looking over to where the cold touch had originated from, I was shocked (somewhat) to see…

"Mizore!" I cried happily, before going to hug her (very slowly, might I add).

I honestly can say, without any shame, that I almost started crying. I'll be man enough to admit it. I was scared half out of my mind. After all, I thought that Mizore had been hurt by Kotsubo, or even worse, raped.

We sat there for several minutes, arms wrapped around each other. I was babbling cheesy things, such as her never doing something like that again, to never leave me, etc. Yeah, one of your 'moments' that are common in dramatic scenes.

However touching it was, it was instantly ruined by a few coughs and a snort of what sounded suspiciously like disgust. Turning, we saw the rest of our group.

Uru, by the looks of it, had a few scraps. Hah, take that you proud vampire. Not so tough against a Kraken in water, now are you?

Kokoa was probably the least injured, although she did have a nasty cut on her cheek. Moka had a few bumps and bruises, but nothing too serious. Yukari had a shiner going.

Ruby and Kurumu's hair was on end; it seemed that my lightning spell gave them quite the hairdo. I gave them an apologetic look; both seemed to be unconcerned with it.

I also noticed that Gin and Tsukune were now up, although they were probably faking being out cold the whole time. Both had similar smiles on their faces-Gin's looked a tad bit more lecherous, though-and they both gave me the thumbs up. I gave them a finger up. Three guesses on which finger.

They all updated me on what had happened. Apparently after Tsukune, Gin and myself were promptly crushed under the shack, the girls went into a slight…rage, shall we say. That's an understatement, but if I were to describe just how angry they were, we'd be here fifty years from now. Needless to say, Kotsubo was beaten within an inch of his life. I would've felt sorry for him, except that he had attacked all of us.

It should also be noted that trying to tentacle rape the girls-whilst raging-wasn't a smart idea on Kotsubo's part. After being frozen, beaten, cut, slashed, scratched, bashed on the head and otherwise bludgeoned, he was down for the count. He was apparently fired and locked up, too.

On a completely unrelated note, there was a lot of sushi at the cafeteria the next day. I briefly wondered why that happened to be.

That thought was taken quickly out of my mind when I sat down with my friends.

"That was an impressive show at the beach, Zach," Tsukune said. Yukari's eyes were sparkling.

"Yeah! I mean, my basins to his face weren't doing anything, but then you came in and BOOM! All those pretty lights! Then that big bolt of lightning came down and blinded everybody!"

Everybody sweat dropped at her constant jabbering. "Okay, ironing board, calm down. You're over stimulated. Somebody get her juice pack-" Kurumu was cut off by Yukari tackling her to the ground. A string of insults started spewing forth from the two. Ruby sighed, then walked up to me, smiling.

"I never would've thought that you'd be so closely related to us…" she said, almost sounding disbelieving.

I chuckled. "Well, even so, with the feuds that witches and mages have on a regular basis, I didn't really feel like telling you guys what I was…not to mention that it's against school rules and all." Ruby shook her head.

"It's not as if all witches have grudges against mages, you know. At the very least, myself and Yukari don't." She smiled at me. I grinned back.

"I'll keep that in mind," I said, leaning back against Mizore, who wrapped her arms around me. Tightly, if I may add. Too tight.

"M-Mizore," I gasped. "I-I can't breathe…" She started at this, and quickly loosened her arms. As I gasped for breath, I could've sworn I heard Gin mutter something that sounded suspiciously like "Somebody's jealous…" When I next looked up, Gin was frozen in a block of ice. I looked up at Mizore. She was looking away, trying to act innocent. I decided to put it out of my mind for now. I looked at Uru.

"What about you, vampire? Was my meager skills enough to impress you?" I was probably pushing my luck by saying that, but fortunately there were witnesses, so she couldn't murder me…yet.

To my surprised, she merely growled and said, "Well, it seems that you aren't worthless after all." Which, coming from her, was probably the most praise I'd ever get out of her. Go me.

Mizore started to brush her hand through my hair, which, while I would never admit to anyone else, I really enjoyed. …What? I like to petted. Is that so wrong? …Ok, I guess it'd be a bit more understandable if I was a wolf like Gin, but…Look, I can't help it ok?

Ahem. With that, we headed back to the dorms, although I needed help to do so…or that's what I wanted everyone else to believe. I don't think I convinced any of them, but at least they were all tactful enough to ignore it. Even if Uru and Kokoa glared at me. But then again, they always do that.

With that, Mizore 'helped' me to my room. I gingerly laid down; just because I didn't really need help to get around, didn't mean that I wasn't in pain. Mizore snuggled in my bed with me, giving me a kiss on the cheek before turning away from me, my arm going around her waist.

I kissed her neck; she moaned slightly, but I left it at that. 'Not now…but someday, Mizore. I promise you,' I thought. 'Someday…'

And those were my last thoughts before I let sleep claim me.

A/N: Well, there's that chapter done. I decided that I wasn't going to follow the story completely, and decided to throw in a bit of drama and action, although the action part doesn't seem good enough to me…then again, I suppose it will only get better as time goes on.

I don't feel that I did a good job with describing the swimsuits, either…but again, I suppose it will get better as time goes on. I may come back later and make it better, although that does depend.

Anyway, this probably won't get updated too much for awhile, due to me needing to create a true plot for this. So, for those of you who are following this story, I apologize. But, hopefully I'll get things figured out in a month or two, but even then I may not update as much, due to family problems.

Until next time.

~The Doc


	6. Sparring With Magic

A/N: Yo! I'm back! I finally got some inspiration for this. I was actually half tempted to say to hell with this fic and focus on my other two current works, as well as the ones I have in the making. But that just wouldn't be fair to all of you who have liked this story. I'll be damned if I just give up like that due to a brief period of no ideas. There's no way that I'm going to start a fic up and then not even three months later give it up due to a moment of weakness.

On another note, to answer a question by qweenseeker:

The pairings will be as such: Moka x Tsukune, with hints of Kurumu x Tsukune, Yukari x Tsukune, as well as Zach x Mizore, with some hints at Ruby x Zach (which might become a bigger thing later on). I have no idea what to do with Uru and Kokoa yet; I may just leave them without anyone to love (serves you right, Kokoa), or I may have them fall for Tsukune. As for our resident werewolf, I'm thinking of pairing him with Sun, who won't appear until later. I'm also thinking of including the three sirens from one of the games; Ran (the blue-haired one with the glasses and the book), Rin (the blonde one with the headphones) and Ren (the red-haired one with the funny hat thingy on her head). They will mingle with our cast, and maybe have them all fall for Tsukune, Gin and Zach (I have dibs on Rin though =D lol).

One last thing: I need the help of you guys. I don't care whether it's in a review or if you PM me. I need some original characters for my Tears of the Assassin fic (which, in case you didn't read it last chapter, will follow Kaluha Shuzen, Kokoa's and Moka'a older sister). I'm terrible at making original characters, so it'd be very much appreciated if you guys could give me a few to work with.

With that out of the way, here we go!

Disclaimer: Don't own Rosario + Vampire.

Chapter Six: Sparring with Magic, and Mizore's Jealousy

* * *

Sweat was pouring down my face. Running around, I kept dodging the various attacks that were thrown at me via Ruby. Vines erupted from the ground, and it was only due to a quickly chanted spell that saved me from being taken out.

Now, I'm sure you all are wondering as to why exactly I'm fighting against Ruby. And no, it's not because I slept with her and then went and cheated on her after promising that I was going to marry her. Tempting as that may be, I think Mizore would kill me for doing ANY of those things (although that may be due to the fact that she'd rather have me do that to her instead; or at least, the first one).

Actually, I had gone to ask her the other day if she could help me train and keep in shape. I had originally planned on asking Uru or Gin to help (seeing as how they're both S-classes monsters), but I had a funny feeling that if I trained with Uru, I would be in a full-body cast by the end of it…or be taking the dirt nap. And Gin…well, actually I don't know why I didn't go with that plan. Probably since I knew he'd kick my ass anyway; he isn't an S-classed monster for nothing, you know!

Sure, I could've trained with Mizore. But if I used a fire spell on reflex, I could seriously injure her-permanently, too. Kokoa would've killed me, Yukari was too busy trying to get into Moka's and Tsukune's pants, and Kurumu…well, I was still sore over the whole being charmed incident.

Besides, it was fun testing a mage's magic against a witch's magic.

Now, before you try to tell me that there's no difference between the two and it's just magic, let me tell you that you're wrong. Dead wrong, as a matter of fact, because I would've fried your face off for even suggesting such a stupid idea. Well, maybe I wouldn't go THAT far, but the intended sentiments would be there.

First of all, it is true that all magic is connected in one way or another. That's why, as a whole, it's called magic. However, there are key differences that separate each form of magic.

There are four main category of magicks. There are also many different sub-categories, but if I took the time to explain what little I know of them, we'd be here all day. Now two of the main categories is runic and alchemy; I don't know too much about either than them, other than runes are considered to be the most ancient and evil (supposedly) of magicks and alchemy takes one thing and makes it into another.

There's general terms for the two remaining 'main' categories, but basically they're called witch's magic, and mage magic.

Witch's magic is far more simpler from what I've heard; as long as you have a strong enough will (and some witch blood in your veins), you can pull of even the most complicated magic. Usually, witch's magic is referred to as 'nature' magic, due to the fact that it often deals with the earth, things made from the earth, etc.

But, for witch's magic to work, _something needs to be there in order for it to work. _Ruby can use vines to attack because they are already there; Yukari can summon basins to strike people (usually Kurumu) on the head. Although those basins probably aren't just hanging in air invisible, they do exist; they are just summoned there to do their job, and then vanish. It's kinda hard to explain, but in a nutshell, witch's magic needs something that already exists in order to work properly; otherwise, it can be dangerous to use. Some forms of witch's magic is similar to a mage's magic, in terms of increasing strength and such, but there are some minor differences that make it just…different. Also, typically witch's need something to channel their magic into; otherwise it gets too chaotic, and witch's magic can have nasty backfires if not controlled properly.

In contrast, mage's magic doesn't need anything to work at all, aside from chanting 'the magic words', as we call them, and perhaps with some hand waving, depending on the spell. Mage's also do not necessarily need something to channel their magic into. It just works better if it's chaotic. Under normal circumstances, lightning is created naturally through a lot of things, such as how moist it is in the air, air pressure, etc. However, a mage can just use his/her magic power (yokai power, whatever) in order to create it. There are ways around using up your magic; for example, if you use water magic, you can choose to drain the natural water in your body. However, if you're next to a water source, such as a lake or an ocean, you can draw power from that instead, although you will still be weakened, albeit to a lesser extent, from using magic in order to pull water from a source that isn't you. It's called equivalent exchange. Deal with it.

That being said, there are still many mysteries surrounding magic. For example, fire magic. Most creatures, whether they be human or monsters, do not naturally have fire in them. It just wouldn't be able to survive our moist innards. Now, salamanders and other such creatures do indeed have fire in them, but that's because their bodies were built that way; as such, their innards are not moist, therefore fire can survive. That's also why fire monsters are so sensitive to water; they have almost literally no water in their bodies, so their bodies aren't used to it. But why can mages create fire out of nothing? You may just brush it off saying "It's just magic", but SOME of us a thirst for certain kinds of knowledge.

Ahem. Anyway, during my monologue, I had slowly began to regain the upper hand in my battle against Ruby; she had gotten off a cheap shot (if you asked me, anyway) at the beginning of our sparring session, and I had been on the defensive since then. However, as time went on, I was able to counter and even go on the offensive for a bit.

Currently we were both breathing hard, sweating gushing off of us. Our clothing had taken quite a bit of damage, with mine being torn and such from her vines, while hers are more or less burnt to a crisp and are in danger of falling off.

Not that I'm complaining mind you.

Mizore was, if her glare was anything to go by. The other girls were glaring too, although I think they were more or less jealous of Ruby's…rather abundant assets. They were probably just a bit smaller than Kurumu's, but slightly bigger than Uru's.

Not that I make it a habit to look at my female companion's chests. No, that…that is my least favorite thing to do.

…DON'T JUDGE ME!

Now, even after all of this, you may be asking why I felt the need to train with Ruby. Well…because I felt like it. Happy?

That's not actually the reason; there had been an increased amount of violence following the Kotsubo incident, and I wanted to be able to put up more of a fight if I got into a situation like I did last time. I only got two good spells off before I was fairly exhausted, and then I got thrown into an already destroyed shack. Not exactly the most heroic and manly accomplishment. I do have my pride as a man, you know.

I finally gave up the ghost as I fell to one knee; Ruby wasn't off any better-she was on all fours, panting, obviously fighting the urge to crash into the ground. I had to give her credit; she was skilled, and she kept me from using any fairly big spells to knock her out. I had to rely on quicker, smaller spells that weren't destructive at all.

I know, I was disappointed too. No big boom-booms to make my day. How sad.

I slowly regained my breath. Standing up fully (although I felt kinda shaky), I smiled at Ruby, trying to ignore (or at least appearing to) her state of almost undress.

"Hoo…haah…Good…job…haah. Ahem." I coughed. "I didn't…think you were…this strong. I'm impressed."

She smirked back at me. "Full of yourself much, mage?"

I shook my head. "Not at all." Taking a deep breath in an attempt to get my wind back faster, I turned towards our audience.

Uru looked more or less bored; it was obvious that nothing we had done had impressed her. Stuck up bitch.

Kokoa at least looked somewhat impressed, although it may have been more of the sparkling lights caused by my spells than the actual combat.

Tsukune didn't have a reaction; he was too busy trying to avoid openly staring at Ruby, and was also being the rope of a vicious tug-of-war between Moka and Kurumu.

Yukari had raced towards Ruby to help her up, and Gin…wait, where did Gin go? Gin? Giiiiiiiin? Where are you, you stupid mutt?

Ahem. I'll look for him later. And last but not least…

I gulped. I felt the air cool significantly around me. Mizore was glaring. It wasn't just a normal glare; it was a glare that only jealous people emit when truly angered. And I was on the receiving end of it.

Well, blast it all.

She was silent the whole way back to our dorms. I was sure that I was going to wake up and be encased in a block of ice the next morning. That fear was tripled upon seeing her stalk off without so much as a backward glance.

I was in trouble, and I knew it. Despite the fact that I barely understood the EXACT reason why she was mad, I knew that it probably had something to do with the way I had almost stripped Ruby and then had admired her body.

In my defense, I couldn't help myself. You try not admiring the body of a young woman like that. Even girls would take a second look, if only to gawk in outright jealousy.

In any case, it wasn't like I stripped her intentionally. I may be a warm-blooded male, but I ain't no perv, thank you very much. I have quite a bit of decency.

* * *

As we walked to our rooms, Tsukune looked over at me.

"I see you're finally experiencing the whole jealous woman thing."

"Yeah, I suppose so," I muttered, "and I have no clue what to do about it. Mizore is obviously the time to get even or get rid of her competition, and I'm afraid she might do something she'll regret to Ruby."

Tsukune raised an eyebrow. "You're not scared of what she'll do to you, if she decides to go that route?"

I shook my head. "Of course I'd be scared. I'd have to be a fool or an complete idiot to not be scared. But I'd rather have her hurt me instead of Ruby. After all, our current situation is my fault, even if it was accidental."

Tsukune nodded. "Yukari said something interesting about that, too. She thinks that Mizore is also jealous that, due to you and Ruby both being borderline monsters, you'll have a much greater connection. Not only that, but your magic is similar, you can learn things from Ruby that you can't learn from Mizore…I could go on and on."

I grunted. "Well, I guess I can't do anything about it for now…I'll try to talk to Mizore, but I don't know if she'll even let me talk to her."

Tsukune nodded again. "Yeah, I can understand that. I can have one of the girls talk to her, if you'd like."

"Nah, this is something that I need to work out between Mizore, Ruby and myself. It's best not to get all of you involved as well." I said.

Tsukune shrugged. "Whatever floats your boat."

We reached our doors. "Hey, Tsukune. Wanna come study for a bit? I could use some help."

He laughed. "I'm no good at school, but I guess we'll try, won't we?"

Laughing, I nodded and headed into my room, getting prepared for my 'guest'.

* * *

~Mizore's POV~

I was angry. I was more angry than I had ever been in my life. I should've seen this coming. After all, Zach is a man. And if Kurumu's word is anything to go by, most men are weak-willed and will go after the prettiest girl they could find that wasn't tied down.

So, I wasn't good enough for him anymore, eh? That witch, Ruby, was now all the woman he needed?

I couldn't believe how stupid I was to have fallen for him. To think, I had wanted HIM to father my children…

A rustle of leaves caught my attention. Instantly going on the defensive, thinking that it was Zach who had tried to come talk to me. I'd show him. I'd teach him to cross me…!

To my great surprise, it was not Zach. It was the younger witch, Yukari. She seemed to be distressed. I soon found the reason why.

Three lizard men were in hot pursuit of her. One of them had her wand; it looked like it had been chewed on. Without her wand, Yukari was practically defenseless. I needed to help.

I quickly ran after them, arriving into a clearing. Yukari was backed up against a tree, with the lizard men surrounding her. They looked like they meant business. Wasting no time, I fired off an ice kunai. It hit the 'leader' in the back of the head, causing him to stumble. I heard a shriek; to my surprise, that blue-haired, big breasted bimbo succubus had seemingly found us, and she took the liberty of attacking one of the lizard men.

I got over my shock fast. I threw another ice kunai at the lizard holding Yukari's wand, causing him to drop it. Yukari snatched it up, looking somewhat disgusted as she held it. It must've been slimy. I caught her eye, and we both nodded.

Several minutes later, all three of the lizard men were out cold, tied up to the tree that they had trapped Yukari against. Yukari was thanking us profusely for our help; that idiot succubus took it all in stride. At least I had modesty.

"That reminds me," Kurumu said, frowning as she looked at me, "What are you doing out here, anyway? Normally you're off stalking your beloved mage-"

I hissed when she said that. She jumped back, scared.

"Beloved? Beloved? After what he just did? He doesn't deserve to be loved!" I screamed, tears starting to flow down my face. "After…after what he did…running off with that stupid witch…" I was sobbing now.

Kurumu and Yukari gave each other looks. Nodding, they pulled me into a group hug.

For an idiot succubus and a bratty witch, they made good company.

Yukari finally pulled away. "Mizore, I think there's something you need to know…"

I looked at her. What was she…?

She took a deep breath. "You see…"

A/N: Wahahahaha! I'm so evil, ending the chapter just like that. Nice cliffy, eh?

Don't worry, I'll try to have the next one up ASAP.

But before we go, I think I need to answer an unspoken question: Lemons and such. There will be some small smut throughout the story, but nothing really big will happen until the end. And even then, there might not be a scene; it may just be heavily implied. There, I handle the problem before anyone asked! Go me.

Next time: Yukari reveals stuff! (Lol way to be vague, huh?) Mizore confronts Ruby! Zach and Tsukune study! And Uru is still being a bitch! How do all of these correlate to each other? I don't know! Find out next time!

~The Doc


	7. To Hell with Making Up Title Names

A/N: Alright, here we go again!

Some angst in this chapter, as well as the beginning of some action, which leads to more action. Yay. I hope you all enjoy it. I'm still trying to figure out the plot, but bear with me, okay?

One thing: To answer Tomahawk 3.0's question (although it wasn't really stated as a question…but the intent was there. I think…), there was going to be a reason for the title: I was going to originally have omakes that would explain how to seduce each kind of monster (or at least the types of monsters that the main characters are, anyway)-hence the title. However, in the end I scrapped the idea, because I just couldn't get it to work. That, and I don't really have any other ideas for a different title. Maybe once I get the plot under control I'll be able to find a more appropriate name for it…or maybe I can somehow salvage the omake idea. Dunno. But enough about that.

I honestly don't have an excuse for not updating this, particularly in the last couple of weeks. Me and my roommates…had a falling out, I guess you could say. And as such, I moved back to my parents house. Where there just happens to be internet. So, the information that I needed to get-the lamia teacher's name-was fully in my grasp. I just was being lazy, and I apologize for that.

So, without further ado, enjoy the latest chapter of How to Seduce a Harem of Monsters!

Disclaimer: Don't own Rosario + Vampire. I do own myself, however. All original ideas are mine too.

Chapter Seven: To Hell with Making Up Title Names

* * *

I groaned as I tried to solve my math problem; seriously, who the hell made math? I want to find that person, and stab them in the face. All math does is give me headaches and cause problems in everyday life. In other words, it's pointless. To hell with trying to find the trajectory of ball A and the impact it makes against your face; I really don't care.

Tsukune wasn't having much luck, either; it appeared that he was even worse off than I was. I would normally laugh at him, but I sympathized with him on this particular subject.

I looked at the clock. 6:00 PM, eh? I got up.

"Wanna take a break? I'll get us something to drink and such." I offered.

He smiled. "Sure, that'd be great. My head is about to explode, anyway."

Laughing, I nodded my head in agreement and went to my fridge. I glanced out the window as I did. Even though it was hard to tell by just looking, it was somehow obvious that fall was on the way; the temperature had dropped suddenly just a week ago, which made me glad that we had gone on the beach trip when we did. It had been a month since then, and a little less than a month since I asked Ruby to start training with me.

I had gotten a lot stronger; Ruby had beaten me without breaking a sweat when we first began. Now, I could fight her to a stalemate. I was surprised at my own progress; living in the human world for all my life had meant that I really wasn't able to practice much magic. There was a time when I was able to learn the spells that I currently know, but I hadn't been able to flex my magical muscles for a long time. It was no wonder that Kotsubo had shrugged off my attacks so easily.

Now, I was sure that if it happened again, I would be able to kick his sorry ass.

I handed Tsukune his share of our small meal, and reseated myself.

"So." I started. "How's life?"

He stared at me. I shrugged.

"Eh, needed some way to start a conversation."

He chuckled. "Well, yeah. I'd actually say life is pretty good right now. Other than having Moka, Yukari and Kurumu fight over me. It may be some guy's dream to have that happen, but trust me-it's a nightmare."

I nodded. "Aye, I agree with you on that."

He cocked his head to the side. "By the way, how are you and Mizore?"

I stiffened slightly.

"Well…she's been distant lately. Ever since I started training with Ruby, she seems to have gotten…frosty. No pun intended," I said. "Kurumu reckons that she's jealous, but she has nothing to be jealous of-it's not like I'm trying to cop a feel on Ruby or anything."

Tsukune got a thoughtful look on his face. "Now that you mention it…you two aren't really dating per se, right?" I nodded.

"Not officially. I'm still waiting until I get to know her a bit better-we have only known each other for month and a half now, after all. I should know better than anyone how rushing relationships tends to have said relationship end in disaster."

Seeing his confused look, I added, "I've had quite a few girlfriends over the years. Thought I was in love with a couple of them, promised them my heart, soul, body, etc., and then realized I wasn't in love with them anymore. Broke quite a few hearts. I'm a terrible person, huh?" I gave a dry laugh.

"Oh well. Most of my old friends are now distant with me. I've only really kept in contact with a couple of them, and even then I don't talk to them much. But now I've got you guys, so I guess it's okay. But I don't know how I'm gonna fix things with Mizore. I mean, I'll admit that I'm attracted to Ruby, but I'm not gonna pursue her or anything."

Tsukune made a noise. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I've tried to make it obvious that I'm interested in Moka, but Kurumu and Yukari can't seem to take a hint. Uru and Kokoa don't like it either, for other…obvious reasons." We both shuddered at that.

"Yeah, having two sisters with sister complexes must suck." I muttered.

Deciding to change the subject before we went any further down that dangerous road, I asked, "So, what about you, Tsukune? Where's your family at?"

He stiffened, although he was obviously trying to play it off. "Well, uh, they're in the human world. They're really good at hiding themselves." I raised an eyebrow. Way to be suspicious, much?

Then it hit me-Moka's comments on how his blood tasted human, how everyone seemed to smell human when he was around. Of course.

"Ah, I see. You're human." I said. He practically confirmed it when his face went pale. I quickly tried to calm him down.

"Hey, hey, don't worry. I ain't gonna turn you in or try to eat you or anything. I'm practically human myself, although with monster-like abilities. Besides, I grew up in the human world, so it isn't like I have a grudge."

He calmed down considerably. "Well, that's good. Only you, Moka and Uru know about the fact that I'm human."

I stared at him. Uru knew his secret, and hadn't tried to kill him or turn him in?

He chuckled at my expression. "Yeah, I thought for sure I was gonna die when Uru found out. But she agreed to keep silent…as long as I give up blood in compensation." He winced as he said that.

I laughed. "That has to suck…"

It was quiet for a bit. Finally, I got up again. "Let's take a walk. Maybe we can find Moka and Yukari and ask for their help."

* * *

~Mizore's POV~

I watched as my prey got closer to my hiding spot. She stiffened, obviously sensing that something was there. I vacated my spot, revealing myself to her.

"Ruby." I acknowledged.

She started at my appearance, although relaxed slightly when she saw me. "Oh, Mizore. Fancy meeting you here." She smiled nervously.

I decided to cut to the chase. "Look, I know why you're doing what you're doing."

She frowned at that. "Yukari."

"Yep. She told me everything."

"…" Ruby's frown deepened. I began circling her.

"It was five years ago…almost to this day. You and your parents were living a good life in the human world, living in a secluded area. Unfortunately, you found yakuza members dumping a body near your home one day. They saw you, and chased after you. You lead them all the way to your house…and your parents were ready to give their lives to protect you."

Ruby stiffened even more so, especially since I was standing just inches from her, boring holes into her head.

"Your parents were both on the brink of death after being shot. But before they could kill any of you, you unleashed a hidden power that is only known to mages and witches. You transformed into a hideous earth beast, and slaughtered every single human in sight. You were about to turn on your parents, too. If the Headmaster hadn't had business with your parents that day, you would've killed your own kin, and become a true beast.

"The Headmaster and the Bus Driver were able to subdue you and return you to your own form. They healed your parents, and they attempted to heal you as well. However, by using that spell you committed yourself to death. They were only able to slow down the curse you had brought upon yourself. In five years, you would eventually return to your monster form and go on one last rampage before you would finally take the dirt nap.

"Your parents have been in the Headmaster's service since then. Searching for the cure that would prevent you from dying. And they found one. It was risky, but it was the only way to save their baby girl."

Ruby was shaking by this point; she hadn't expected my knowledge to be this great.

"That's why you really began training Zach. As borderline monsters, you're offspring of different kinds of monsters and humans. Instead creating hybrids, the children of those 'unholy unions' created the first witches and mages.

"Looking back into your family tree, they discovered that one of your ancestors on your fathers side once mated with a nature dragon. Since then, regardless of who your later ancestors mated with, they would always have dominate dragon blood.

"The spell that your parents discovered was an easy one; all they had to do was have someone with similar blood to your own-who wasn't related-within a certain proximity of you. However, the spell can only work after you've returned to your monster self. As such, you needed to train the one person who could help you. Due to his extreme lack of practice, you needed to make sure that he could keep you busy without dying. If he died, the spell would be for naught, and you would perish.

"You only knew one other borderline monster who may have dragon blood in him-Zach. Sure enough, when you looked into his ancestry, you discovered that one of his mother's ancestor's mated with a sky dragon-dragons who specialize in wind, light, and lightning attacks, which are the exact opposite of your ancestor, the earth dragon. Surely he would be able to neutralize you long enough for the spell to take place.

"So you agreed to train him, under the pretense of him getting stronger to prevent another Kotsubo incident. And you trained with him everyday, until finally, he could match you in strength. And not a day too soon; in three days, you will revert to your monster form, and he will be forced to fight you-for both his life, and yours."

Ruby closed her eyes. "I see…so Yukari knew that much, huh…"

She reopened them. "It is as you say. Zach's dragon blood is the only thing that could possibly save me. And I needed him to at least be my equal, if not my superior, in combat, if I want either of us to survive. And it can only be him; none of you will be able to interfere, otherwise the spell may go wrong and kill us all."

I grimaced. So, Zach had to fight alone, is that it…?

Ruby, as though as she had read my mind, nodded. "Yes, that means Zach will be fighting solo this time. …I really didn't want to involve any of you in this, but I have little choice. I don't want to die yet; there is still so much I need to do…"

Even with my recent not-so-happy thoughts about the witch in front of me, I had to feel sorry for her.

Apparently, so did the others eavesdropping.

"…All right, come out you guys." I said. A gasp was heard; Moka, Uru and Kokoa all appeared from behind the tree that they had all been trying to hide behind.

I shook my head. Amateurs…

* * *

~Zach's POV~

Tsukune and I had walked down towards the edge of the forest that would lead to the barrier. Stretching, I leaned against one of the trees, letting out a huge yawn at the same time.

"Man, where is Yukari and Moka when you need them? We've looked everywhere!"

Tsukune shrugged. "I don't know. I think at this point, I'm even willing to ask Gin to help us…at least he's gone through this stuff before. He should still have an idea on how to do it."

I frowned. "Speaking of which, I've been meaning to ask; what happened to Gin earlier? One minute he was there, the next he had vanished."

"Ah. Well, it sounded like he had to be tutored or something like that."

"That's what we're gonna be forced to do if we don't get our homework done." I grumbled.

"Hey…isn't that…Gin? Over there?"

I looked over to where Tsukune was pointing. Sure enough, it was our sempai; that messy hair, that red headband…

"Yeah, it is! Hey! Gin!" I called out.

To my great surprise, he didn't seem to notice. Sure, he was heading in our direction to begin with, but he didn't respond at all. Quite the opposite of his normal reaction to being called upon.

As he neared, we could hear him muttering.

"Two plus two equals four…five times five equals twenty five…the square root of sixteen is four…"

"Is he…muttering math equations?" Tsukune asked, obviously concerned.

"I think he is…and basic ones at that. I wonder what's up? Gin's not really the type to care about grades…"

Gin walked right past us, muttering the whole time. We stared as he continued to walk nowhere in particular, still talking in math equations. We looked at each other; then, without a word, we quickly took off after him.

Whatever was going on, it wasn't good.

* * *

We followed Gin for quite some time. We had tried to get his attention at first, but he still would not respond to anything we said. He just kept walking and muttering. Hardly anything like his normal self. Our concern grew with every passing moment; what was wrong with him?

We eventually made our way to a clearing. There was a small pond nearby. I also noticed the unconscious forms of three lizard men; I ignored them. Lizard men were always rather nasty towards weaker monsters and to border monsters such as myself.

But what I couldn't ignore, however, was the unlikely pair of Yukari and Kurumu talking on the other side of the pond. Whatever it was, it seemed rather grave. They noticed us rather quickly-after all, we weren't exactly being quiet. Waving them over, I spoke quietly to them as soon as they got close enough.

"Any ideas on what's up with Gin? We've been following him around for a half hour, listening to him mutter math equations over and over."

Yukari frowned. "Math equations? That's odd…I've never heard of anything like that."

Kurumu surprised us all by being knowledgeable about something. "Actually, I've heard rumors about our math teacher. Apparently, those who get tutored by her end up becoming really strange. All they do is mutter math equations, and their grades go up. But, I guess that she kinda does weird things to them, too; she whips the boys like some sort of freaky S&M thing, and the girls have to serve her tea. Some people are saying that she's a lamia."

"A lamia?" Tsukune asked.

"Lamia's are typically rather attractive women who have a snake's tail in their monster form. The end of the tail opens up, and can be used as some sort of…data transfer thing, shall we say." I explained. Yukari nodded.

"Yeah, that's about it. She must be using that ability to brainwash those who she tutors!"

"Brainwash? Why, I never! I am simply trying to help students achieve their goals by increasing their intelligence! What's so wrong with that?" Came a sultry voice.

We all turned. Standing there in a VERY provocative pose was our math teacher. Ririko Kagome. Like Kurumu had said, she was dressed up in some freaky S&M costume, complete with a whip and all that not so fun stuff.

I groaned. "Well somebody NORMAL please come out?"

Everybody gave me looks. I coughed. "Well…normal in this situation."

They were still staring. I sighed. "Oh forget it…"

When they finally turned their attention back to Ririko, I muttered "Freaks." 'Cause I'm a jerk like that.

A basin struck me in the head. Now there was two math teachers. Great. One teacher of the evil subject was bad enough, but now there was TWO of them?

Oh wait…double images. My mistake.

"Now, what is so wrong with helping my dear students gain more knowledge? It would help the world more if everyone was as smart as I can make them!"

"Well, other than the fact that they would be practically mindless zombies after you're done with them?" I muttered, just loud enough for her to hear.

"You know, zombies aren't really mindless…" Yukari said.

"Huh? Oh, I know that. It's a figure of speech."

"A very human-like figure of speech." Kurumu noted.

"Well I DID live in the human world for most of my life, you know. It's kinda obvious that I would pick up some quirks and such."

Tsukune shifted uncomfortably. I was the only one who noticed.

"Hey! Don't forget that I'm here!" Ririko shouted, obviously miffed at us ignoring her.

"Shut up, teacher of the evil subject of math! Mommy and daddy are talking!" I shouted back.

Everybody gave me strange looks again.

"Who's mommy and who's daddy?" Yukari asked.

"I hope that I'm the mommy," Came a voice that I longed to hear.

Said voice was accompanied by a couple of grunts of disgust.

I turned. There, in all her snowy glory, was Mizore. …Followed by some stragglers that were of no importance.

"Hey! How dare you say that we are not important!" Uru shouted.

Stop reading my thoughts, you freaks.

"We're not freaks!" Kokoa screeched.

Seriously, that's creepy. Knock it off.

"STOP IGNORING ME!" Ririko screamed.

I promptly ignored her. Instead, I had more pressing matters to attend to.

"Mizore…"

She gave me a look that told me 'We'll talk later'. I nodded.

"Hey! Aren't you listening to your teacher?"

"What'd you want?" I asked.

"Wha-?" She seemed thrown off by my immediate response.

"What are you gonna do? Do the same to us as you did to Gin? Just because I'm terrible at math doesn't mean I'm stupid. In fact, I don't see why you're freaking out over bad math grades. Math is evil. It ruins lives, destroys marriages, makes babies cry, causes Armageddon, the Apocalypse, and Doomsday all simultaneously, and gives me a headache. Not to mention that it because of math that Gin is currently talking like a nerd and annoying the crap outta me."

Everyone stared at me. Again.

Staring at me count: Four. I'm on a roll.

"Does math really causes those things?" Kurumu asked.

We all stared at her like she was an idiot. Oh wait, she IS an idiot.

"Hey! I'm not an idiot!"

STOP READING MY MIND! How ARE they doing that? Women are freaking SCARY…

* * *

Akane Tendo and Naru Narusegawa both sneezed. They both could've swore someone was referring to them…something about being scary. Then they both decided to take it out on their husbands. Why? Because they could.

A double cry of "RANMA/KEITARO! YOU PERVERT!" sounded throughout world as twin explosions rocked two different parts of Japan. Two new stars were added to the constellations later that day.

* * *

"Huh. I feel like I just caused two unlucky men to get pounded because their girlfriends are violent, jump to conclusions, and nobody really likes them."

"What makes you say that?" Tsukune asked.

"I don't know…Hey, were those two stars there before?" I asked.

"STOP GETTING OFF TRACK OF THE STORY!" Ririko cried. Then she got smited by the power of the Hell Kings due to her breaking through the fourth wall.

"Huh. Well that was easy." I said, pressing a button as I did so. "That was easy." It echoed.

My getting stared at count raised to five.

* * *

A/N: Mer, finally done. This took some doing…Crappy ending, isn't it? Figured as much. Anyway, finally got this updated, so I best get to work on the next chapter. I don't know how long it'll take, but hopefully won't take as long as it did to get this chapter out.

Until next time!

~The Doc


End file.
